Darkness Descends
by Len Bon
Summary: Sometimes the simplest actions is the loudest cry for help. Despite this, there isn't anybody listening, or is there?
1. I Need Some Sleep

**I know, my 90210 story isn't complete but meh.**  
><strong>It is really sad that I am writing this considering that I am 17, but I had the idea when I caught the show once or twice so... It is a teen but is verging on mature for what it deals with. It centres around Cece because I think she needs to be explored in a way that was started during Add It Up.<strong>  
><strong>She may seem OOC but work with it?<strong>

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><p>"<em>I need some sleep<br>It can't go on like this"_

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><p>Cece tossed and turned. The pillow had been turned over and over and over and over... She had tried moving the covers on, off, around, upside down. Nothing was working. Maybe if she just closed her eyes and thought happy thoughts? She sat up abruptly. Who was she kidding? She couldn't conjure up any happy thoughts right now.<p>

Maybe if she rang Rocky and asked her to come over? Would that help? Would Rocky even pick up? She glanced at her clock to see it reading 4am. Maybe she shouldn't disturb Rocky after all. But what else could she do.

Standing up, Cece walked over to her desk and found her laptop. The light of her screen flickered on as she opened the lid.

Windows resuming, it kept flashing up to her. It wasn't resuming quick enough for her liking. Why was this thing always so blooming slow? It might have something to do with her mother getting it from the police evidence box auction that her job allowed her to buy things from. Of course Cece wasn't to get the newest laptop, unlike Flynn who got his new game console.

Eventually, the screen changed to her background, of her and Rock smiling, and she opened the web browser. Google was typed into the address bar and she started her search;"How to sleep?".

A thousand links popped up and Cece clicked on the first one. She skim read all about how it meant something was on her mind. She was no academic genius, but even she already knew that. Frustratedly she backspaced to re-search.

After countless failures, Cece eventually found one semi-helfpful sight that listed ways to ease the thought at night. It suggested she find a place that she felt truly comfortable in to sleep. What is the worst that could happen?

She closed the lid to her laptop, picked up her duvet and walked over to the closet. She opened it, discarded some shoes onto her bedroom floor and settled down beneath the sparkly, fashionable dresses and clothes that she owned. She rested her back against the wall and pulled her duvet around her, as if it was cuddling her.

Cece felt herself start to drift. Maybe the website did know what it was on about.

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><p>Cece was awoken by her mother.<p>

"What are you doing in the closet? And why were you screaming?" She was asking irritatedly as she stood in her nightwear looking at her daughter.

"Maybe she was scared of the monsters in there and thought she should confront them." Flynn chipped and both mother and son laughed at his joke. Cece's own cheeks burned and a slight sadness came over her – were they really unconcerned?

"Anyway, I need you to take Flynn to school." With that, her mum left to get dressed for work.

Cece looked over to her little brother who was already dressed and looking at her expectantly. She sighed, before pulling herself up and moving out of the closet.

She was exhausted. She'd only gotten an hour and half of sleep. It was becoming too much for her, these sleepless nights. It had been about a week, and last night was the first time she'd even drifted. She knew she looked a sight, but couldn't find herself to care as she quickly got dressed – not even bothering to brush her hair.

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><p>"Cece, you look awful!" Rocky exclaimed as she saw her walking into school.<p>

"Thanks Rocky! I can always count on you to make me feel better." Cece told her sarcastically as she walked over to her locker.

"Did you have another movie-marathon night?"

"No." She replied bluntly. She didn't really want to deal with her best friend at this point.

"Hey, babe!" Cece heard behind and knew that she had just gotten her wish.

She turned around holding the textbooks for her next two lessons just to see Rocky and her boyfriend, David kissing. It sickened her slightly.

"I've got a lesson to get to..." She called whilst she walked away from the two love-birds and to maths. Kill her.

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><p>"Cecelia Jones. You understand why you are here, yes?"<p>

"I'm really sorry I fell asleep in maths, Miss Winslow." Cece tried but she could see the Vice Principal was having none of it.

"You have two weeks of detention and I am ringing your mother. No matter how boring you think a class is, you Are not allowed to just sleep in it." She was annoyed, anybody could see that.

"Yes, ma'am. It wasn't that I was sleeping because it was bored but because I am really tired. I've been having trouble sleeping because-"

"It doesn't matter. I have things to do, so if you could just leave and close the door on your way out."

With that Cece left, feeling more tired than before. Why did everything take such effort? And why was nobody willing to listen?

If they thought she was so ready to do things, then she would! She bitterly walked out of school and home, even though she knew she'd be in a vast amount of trouble. She didn't care though. All she wanted to do was head home to sleep in her closet and actually catch up on her life. She didn't feel like life was going on, yet apparently it was.

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><p>"<em>I'm in too deep<br>And the wheels keep spinning 'round"_

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><p><strong>Song = I Need Some Sleep - Eels<strong>

**First chapter, review? :)**


	2. Will You Notice The Signs?

**This is a flashback chapter... you'll find them consistently through the story :)**

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><p><em>The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky.<em>

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

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><p><strong>Stay tuned for the next chapter, back to present day (Y)<strong>


	3. Take It All Away

**This is where it gets a bit darker, and more is slightly revealed.**

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><p>"<em>You watched me while I slowly disappeared.<br>I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear."_

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><p>"I heard from your teacher today!" My mum told me as soon as Cece entered the door. She was never going to be greeted with a warm embrace from her mother.<p>

"About what?" Cece asked, nonchalantly and as if she knew not what her mum was talking about.

"Don't play games with me, Cecilia. I had to come all the way from work for this... I've lost hours."

It was always the same story whenever Cece did something wrong. Cece worried that her mum was actually a workaholic because she never seemed to have time for her daughter. Although, Cece may be biased because it was where her mum was on the night – the night she needed her mum to be around most.

"Look, it won't happen again?" Cece tried.

"The sleeping in class, the skipping school or the failing marks?" Her mum raged. There was a hefty list turning up in ways that Cece was failing school.

"I've always had failing marks, why do you suddenly care now? It never bothered you before!" Cece fought. Sure her mum had gotten her a tutor in the past, but she never cared this much. Her marks were always just a pass, if that high, so why bother ragging on her about it?

"You were never getting Fails in your tests. Apparently you aren't writing anything down in class or revising. Is this true?"

"I've just been preoccupied, mum. I am trying but..." Cece was trying to find a way to explain what was going on in her life. Maybe she should just come out and say it, because then she'd get the slack she needed...

"Is it Shake It Up? I will cut you from it!" Her mum told her and for once Cece wasn't about to protest about it. Being taken from the show didn't sound like the worst thing to her – especially if her were going to be on it.

"Look, the thing is... There is this boy and-"

"Cece, boys shouldn't be a distraction. Will you get your head out of the clouds and start working?" Her mum seemed to have gotten angrier at the mention of boys.

"You don't get it, mum. I was at that party with Rocky and the boy approached me, which I thought was amazing but-"

A loud beep sounded in the room, causing Cece to halt in her sentence.

"Look, I'm needed at work." Her mum told her, picking up her jacket and heading for the door. Just as she was leaving she turned back. "Pick your grades up, or they'll be trouble. Get out of your own bubble and think about everybody else for once. Bad results have a negative impact on us all!"

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><p>Cece looked at her homework. English was always her worst subject, mainly because she was dyslexic. This was ridiculous though. She had been staring at the words on the page for the last half hour, yet nothing was making sense. It normally took her about five minutes to decipher all the letters and make them into something that made sense, but everything in front of her was a blur.<p>

She gave up and closed the book. Could Dyslexia get worse? It appeared to be happening.

If this carried on, her grades wouldn't ever improve. Her mum would be really angry at her, and she'd never be able to tell her. What if her mum didn't believe her? She had lied in the past, after all. What if, after everything, she was actually just attention-seeking? She was used to being called narcissistic, but this wasn't really the same was it? She didn't choose for that night to pan out how it did; she didn't plan for her life to be spiralling out of control with her thoughts.

Cece sat on the bed and mulled things over. Eventually she came to the thought that her mum wasn't listening because she really didn't have anything of worth to say. Her problems weren't important enough for others and she should just deal with it herself.

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><p>Cece lay in bed that night, wanting to cry or just release all the pent up sadness inside of her. She looked at the clock, and realised she couldn't ring Rocky because she was still out on her date, with David.<p>

Truth be told, she partly blamed David, because if he hadn't been dating Rocky then Rocky would've seen what a state Cece was in that night - in fact, Rocky would've not left Cece on her own and it wouldn't've happened at all. She hated David for making her friend so happy that the friend didn't notice her pain.

After thinking that, frustration welled up inside Cece. Not at David, but at herself. How could she be so selfish? No wonder this happened to her; it was because she was so conceited. Anger and sadness and hatred welled inside of her. She needed a release for it all.

Storming to the bathroom, she tried to think of a solution. She could splash her face with water, write awful things on the mirror?

She tried both, when she reached the bathroom, but the feelings remains, grew almost. Staring at the nasty words she'd written around her reflection, self-hatred brew deeper.

She deserved it. She was nasty and evil. Conceited. A jerk. A terrible friend. Jealous. Malicious. Worthless.

Without realising what she was doing, she smashed the mirror with her fist – hoping to rid her reflection. It was as the mirror broke that she got her idea on how to release her hurt.

What she did next, she was not proud of.

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><p>"<em>I'm breaking; I cant do this on my own.<br>Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?"_

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><p><em><strong>Song = Take It All Away – Red<strong>_

**Review?**


	4. Can You Notice The Signs?

**Flashback, part 2.**

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><p><em>The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky.<em>

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

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><p><strong>Just keep waiting for the next chapter. :D<strong>


	5. Shattered

**Okay, I may, or may not, have made Rocky a complete bitch in this chapter. My bad, guys. Still, a lot can change in 2 years, and there is a lot of pent up aggression in that girl :/**

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><p>"<em>And I've lost who I am<br>And I can't understand  
>Why my heart is so broken"<em>

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><p>Cece stood, just staring; watching him talk to the other dancers. He was smiling and laughing as if nothing in life had changed at all. Life was still on the same track it had always been – no alteration of dreams, no clouding of thoughts. Eventually, it burned just to look at him – to see him joke as if no life had been ruined.<p>

Blinking away tears, Cece tried to regain concentration and tune into what Rocky was saying. They were talking about the last dance that Gary had been telling them about. They would all be paired with somebody of the opposite gender and Rocky was excited about it. Somehow, all her words were blurring into one and Cece found herself glancing back at him every so often.

"Okay, lets get the partners together!" Gary's voice rang before he started calling names together. Cece and Gunther!"

Cece was relieved, there was no doubt... she would not have to be with him! A part of her also felt guilty for she knew that somebody would. Maybe she was overreacting? Did she not just make the whole thing up? After all, her memory of the night wasn't exactly entire... She should stop worrying about it because she couldn't handle that as well as her life spiralling out of control.

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><p>Gunther stood staring at her. They had just been rehearsing for twenty minutes and was startled when Cece asked to suddenly stop. He thought she loved dancing above all other things.<p>

"Why have we stopped again?" He asked, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. All throughout their times rehearsing the dance she had been spacey.

"I just need a minute, okay? Geez, stop hassling me! I have much bigger things to worry about than simply dancing!" Cece exclaimed, turning from him quickly, blinking away tears. She took a swig of water and tried to mentally calm herself.

"Since when? The only thing you have going for you is dancing!" Gunther sniped harshly, still irritated by Cece's lack of dedication. Somehow though, it caused such a silence which astounded him. Why wasn't Cece fighting back – giving a big description of all other fruitful endeavours. Tension hung thick in the air and he swore he heard her sniffle slightly as she drank more water. Guilt washed over him. "Look, I didn't mean it like that... It is just you have never had a particularly bothered attitude and you only ever really care about dancing, why is this any different? It isn't like you have started to lose your sister!"

Cece turned to look at him then, hoping he would overlook her water eyes so that they could focus on his pain instead of hers."What do you mean?"

"Tinka! She has not been herself, spending more time around boys and such. Just look at the fact that we aren't partners! She asked Gary to put her with somebody that isn't me... We're best friends, why would she do that?" Gunther, with his ridiculous accent, looked so vulnerable and sad that Cece momentarily forgot about her own struggles.

"Lets get back to rehearsal, we'll talk about this later, okay?" Cece told him as she walked over to him and held out her arms for him to take.

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><p>"Gunther was asking about you earlier!" Rocky told her. Cece didn't know when she started to class Gunther as her friend but she was aware that she was spending time with him; attempting to forget her own troubles as she listened to his. A trust opened between them when the two started to share secrets with one another so much so that she even told Gunther about her dyslexia.<p>

"Oh, okay..." Cece didn't really know how to respond because she could feel the tension between her and Rocky.

"What is that meant to mean? When did you even start hanging out with Gunther? I mean, other than dancing what do you have in common? He is just some weirdo... you always said so! What changed?"

"Rocky, why are you angry with me? I started to get another friend, is that really so bad? I mean, I haven't stopped spending time with you or anything. Besides, Gunther has always been there for me, he never just leaves me."

"Oh, so we're back to this again? Why can't you be supportive of me and David? When will you stop being so selfish?"

"Rocky, that isn't fair-"

"No, you know what isn't fair? You being my best friend because time and time again I support and help you! I am always the one there for you but as soon as I get a boyfriend, you feel like you can stab me in the back. You are self-centred to the point that even if I am happy, if you aren't it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters to me if you are happy. I didn't say th-"

"I didn't replace you with David. You are replacing me with Gunther. It is so stupid! What do you think will happen? Just because Tinka has stopped hanging out with him as much you think you two have anything in common? Does he even know you? No! Because at the end of the day, you don't really like him and he doesn't really like you."

"Rocky, that isn't tru-"

"It is true. If he really knew you then why would he like you? You just stab your best friends in the back! You are selfish, vain and a horrible person because you just can;t find it within you to support others!" Rocky finished with a glare before storming off to her next class.

Cece found herself just letting the tears flow down her cheeks freely as others in the corridor looked at her, shocked by what they had seen. Many would not disagree with the opinion stated by Rocky Blue, but they certainly still thought it was extremely harsh.

"She didn't mean it..." Deuce started as he approached her.

"We both know she did, that is why she said it..." Cece said what they were both thinking.

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><p>"<em>All this time spent in vain<br>Wasted years  
>Wasted gain"<em>

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><p><strong>Song = Shattered – Trading Yesterday<strong>


	6. Don't You Notice The Signs?

Another flashback :)

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><p><em>The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky.<em>

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

_They were dancing so close. Closer than she could ever imagine dancing with somebody because it was intimate yet sexual all at once. Her head was spinning by the time he brought his lips down on hers. She had known it would be inevitable considering the proximity of their mouths and the heat of the dancing._

_After a couple more kisses, he came up for air and stared at her._

_"Wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked her, moving his mouth to her neck and kissing it._

_Cece giggled slightly, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet. "Erm... sure!"_

_He held her hand and led her off the designated dancefloor, stopping every so often to kiss her exuberantly upon the mouth. Her head spun from the feeling as adrenaline pumped through her veins when she let herself be guided to a changing room._


	7. Someone Who Cares

**Another update? What is this?**

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><p>"<em>Am I to blame when the guilt and the shame<br>Hang over me "_

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><p>Cece stared at Rocky from across the canteen. She pushed her 'pasta' around her plate with a fork, looking at her former best friend. She missed her, there was no doubt about that, as she watched Rocky laugh at something Deuce had said whilst Dina rolled her eyes.<p>

She gulped hard as the lump in her throat started to swell and grow in size whilst she watched all her friends. It wasn't like Ty, Deuce and the others disliked her, it was just Cece had let them be with Rocky. They had come to her, asking what to do, and so she told them to look after Rocky, make sure she made good decisions and thus not to worry about her. It was a self-made isolation. Despite this, Cece still felt hurt as she sat on the outside of the group she once belonged to.

Most days it wasn't this bad, Gunther would sit with her and she'd find herself laughing and smiling. It was without doubt that Gunther made her life just that much brighter; allowing her to forget the inward turmoil that was breaking her heart. Still, Gunther wasn't here to comfort her about Rocky's poor choice to forget her, the ex-best friend because Tinka had suddenly decided she'd eat lunch with her brother but didn't want Cece there.

Cece was startled to see Rocky suddenly giving her the evil glare that she was renowned for. Apparently, Cece really had completely fallen from grace no matter how much she had tried to recapture their friendship. After all, it was Cece that had approached Rocky to apologise about the incident, claiming it her fault, yet five minutes later an argument had ensued. It was Cece's fault of course.

Rocky's glare continued to burn into her until Cece couldn't take it any longer. Picking up her mostly full plate, she moved to the bins and then out of the room. She had never felt more lonely.

"Are you alright, Cece?" Gunther asked, worried as he sat in a seat next to her. He picked up her legs and swung them over his before holding her hand softly. "Ty told me you just got up and left the room, and burst into tears all of a sudden..."

"I'm okay, Gunther. I guess I just wasn't hungry and that I was a bit lonely, you know?" Cece explained, looking at him, attempting to smile as convincingly as she could. The truth was, she did feel better in his presence, when he was drawing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Good, because I really care about you! I just want you to be happy, when you aren't I just feel sad..."

"You still have others though. It isn't like Tinka has completely abandoned you or anything. It is just a phase that she is going through!" Cece attempted to comfort him. His life hadn't reached a pitiable level like hers. Yes, he was lonely and over the past through weeks after being partners for Shake It Up! they had bonded, but she knew that Tinka would be back. She dreaded it in some aspects as she knew she'd lose her only life support, the one person she really did hold dear and knew the feeling was mutual.

"Cece, you still mean so much to me! A couple of weeks ago, I could not have imagined me saying this but... but..."

"But what, Gunther?" Cece asked the boy sitting next to her, intrigued as to what he'd say.

"I think I love you?" Gunther gulped nervously before finally making eye contact with the red-head sitting beside him.

He was slightly worried by her reaction; which was simply to have her eyes widen and to stiffen completely. She tried to move away, ever so slightly, pulling her hand softly. Gunther suddenly got scared. Why had he said that? Maybe she didn't believe him! He then did the only thing that he thought he could do, and kissed her.

His lips crashed down upon hers, not with force but with enough pressure that her head suddenly screamed. She could taste blueberry on her lips, feel the heat of the dancing she had done and hear the music ringing from the stage area. It was loud and pounding and she knew that he was kissing to hard but she couldn't find the strength to push away. She started to try and speak, telling him no, she didn't want to be here any more. Why were her clothes coming off? She tried to protest as he pushed her knickers down, but her mouth wasn't complying at all. Her eyes started to drop...

"Cece?" Gunther startled her as she looked up at him. Tears were streaming down her face. "I didn't know you felt so strongly opposed to me like that!"

"What do you... what do you mean?" Cece choked, watching him rip himself off the seat, which she had shifted far over from, and walk to the door.

"If you don't like me, you could have just said so. I get that your lonely and I was around, but you just used me!"

With that Gunther left her living room, leaving Cece startled, sad and scared.

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><p>"<em>It's not what it seems when you're not on the scene<br>There's a chill in the air"_

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><p><strong>Song – Someone who cares – Three Days Grace<strong>

**I don't know why I am destroying Cece's relationship with everybody; I should start a list...**

**Mum – check**

**Rocky – check**

**Gunther – check.**


	8. Won't You Notice The Signs?

Another flashback :)

_The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky._

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

_They were dancing so close. Closer than she could ever imagine dancing with somebody because it was intimate yet sexual all at once. Her head was spinning by the time he brought his lips down on hers. She had known it would be inevitable considering the proximity of their mouths and the heat of the dancing._

_After a couple more kisses, he came up for air and stared at her._

"_Wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked her, moving his mouth to her neck and kissing it._

_Cece giggled slightly, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet. "Erm... sure!"_

_He held her hand and led her off the designated dancefloor, stopping every so often to kiss her exuberantly upon the mouth. Her head spun from the feeling as adrenaline pumped through her veins when she let herself be guided to a changing room._

_He pushed her up against the wall and started to kiss her deeply; roughly; passionately. Before she realised they were entangled and she was dying for air. He started to touch her boobs then, still pinning her to wall. She was going to say something but found that just as she was about to, he kissed her again and then she was feeling very sleepy. Was that normal when you've been making out? She'd never felt her eyelids feel so heavy._

"_I have a condom, you know?" It was only when she felt his hot breath against her ear that she realised they had stopped kissing. It then took a couple of minutes before it dawned on her, just what he had said. _

"_No... I don't want sex... I'm still a virgin..." Cece knew it wasn't a cool thing, but her head was suddenly hurting and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She wasn't ready to have sex and so..._

"_That is okay, babe, I like virgins." He then kissed her hard on the lips, using one hand to keep her where she was whilst the other one started to wander down her stomach to the zip of her jeans._

_She tried to protest and say no some more whilst attempting to squirm, but her body wasn't complying with her. _


	9. There Was A Whisper

"_I feel so alone  
>I feel so cold"<em>

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><p>Cece watched from her locker as the school buzzed past her. The world was going on, leaving her alone in the dust it made as it sped away from her at such a speed. She had no idea when her life had began to slow to the point where it was halted if not going backwards. That wasn't true. She could pinpoint the exact moment, she just didn't know when it had intensified.<p>

The bell seemed to sound, but Cece couldn't be sure because she couldn't remember hearing it. People were rushing past her, trying to get to their next lesson and not be late. Cece remembered when she was like that; the biggest worry was getting yet another detention.

She picked the appropriate book out for her next lesson – English – and started to move towards her designated classroom. She knew she was going to be late... the teacher had probable already started taking the register but she couldn't find it within her to care.

Eventually she made it to class, finding out that they were going to be writing a short prose about what they were feeling.

_The lights are off; it is dark in here.  
>I'm in the dark. And I'm alone. And I'm cold. And I'm scared.<br>I can't remember what the light looks like. I can't remember how to smile. I can't remember anything past the opaque black that I'm surrouned by.  
>The lights are off; there is vast dark in here.<br>I can't help but drown._

Cece looked at her work. She wrote exactly what she was feeling and nothing at all. Tears entered her eyes as she looked at the paper that showed just who she was now. She pushed her eyes closed as she thought of another piece of prose to write in the last couple of minutes left.

_Sometimes we are fine. Sometimes we hurt.  
>These two lines blur far and few between until nobody can tell if you are fine or hurting.<br>The hardest part is not always distinguishing them in other people but just seeing the difference of them in yourself.  
>I say I'm fine, but I'm hurting; I say I'm hurting, but somehow I'm fine.<br>They blur and even I can't tell the difference._

* * *

><p>Cece found herself not paying attention in rehearsal and when the break came, Cece didn't realise at first. The dancers cleared off the stage and she just watched. She looked at the floor, and the area and found herself hating it. Dancing, which had once brought her such joy, caused her nothing but pain now.<p>

She walked to the side and sat with her belongings, just staring at the people surrounding her. She was self-centred and had never really took the time to care for those around her.

Kyle was flirting with Jane – when did that happen?

Gary was talking on his phone, whispering angrily at his wife.

Rocky was... Rocky was giving Cece evils, not even looking embarrassed when Cece caught her.

Lauren was practising the dance steps time and time again.

Gunther was looking concernedly at her before turning away when she caught him. He was hurting.

Tinka was standing close to him. They were giggling and Cece automatically understood the way they were acting. Mimicking her own behaviour just a couple of months previous.

Cece turned away, wincing slightly. A mixture of feelings rushed over her body. What should she do? Should she even do anything? What had Tinka ever done for her? Even Tinka didn't deserve the same fate as she! How could she tell anybody though? Wasn't it her fault anyway... she hadn't exactly fended him of when she had the chance? She didn't know what he'd do though, did she? Maybe she had known all along? Did Tinka know at all?

She was left wondering as Gary called the rehearsal off due to his needing the rush home.

* * *

><p>"Gunther, can I talk to you?" Cece asked as she cornered him just outside the canteen.<p>

"What do you want Cece? You made it well known that I'm not wanted by you!" Gunther asked, attempting to move around her and avoid eye contact.

"Look, I know I hurt you. I really didn't mean to! I care for you, I truly do, Gunther, I just can't be in a relationship. I don't like you in that way!" Cece couldn't get the pleading out her voice. She missed her once only friend. The way the glance of happiness came so naturally with him. She wasn't lying though when she said she couldn't handle a relationship – yes, she may have deeper feelings than just friendship, but she didn't really know because she was too messed up.

"I know, you made that clear..."

"This isn't about us or our friendship, though. I need to speak to you about Tinka... she had been spending large amounts of time with Jeremy, the new dancer at Shake It-"

"I know. Why do you think I don't get to see her?"

"Look, I know, but... but... but I don't think he is a good guy. I've heard things about him; nasty rumours that if they are true at al-"

"Tinka is a big girl, as she reminds me frequently. She can look after herself." Gunther sounded disgruntled and once more tried to get round Cece and leave the conversation behind.

"You have no reason to trust me – I get that. However, don't let your resentment get in the way of anything. Tinka is your sister, no matter what. If the things about... about him are true, then Tinka doesn't stand a chance, no matter how much she can look after herself. Just... just keep an eye out for her? Make sure she isn't alone for long with him, okay?" Cece looked Gunther directly in the eye. He nodded, understanding that Cece was trying to help; and she didn't even like Tinka.

Cece looked at him for a moment before turning away and walking away from him – her mission was completed and now she could go back to not giving a damn about anybody else's pain other than hers.

* * *

><p>"<em>There was a chill<br>There was a sound"_

* * *

><p><strong>Song - There Was a Whisper – Bang Gang<strong>


	10. Can't You Notice the Signs?

Another flashback :)

_The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky._

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

_They were dancing so close. Closer than she could ever imagine dancing with somebody because it was intimate yet sexual all at once. Her head was spinning by the time he brought his lips down on hers. She had known it would be inevitable considering the proximity of their mouths and the heat of the dancing._

_After a couple more kisses, he came up for air and stared at her._

"_Wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked her, moving his mouth to her neck and kissing it._

_Cece giggled slightly, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet. "Erm... sure!"_

_He held her hand and led her off the designated dancefloor, stopping every so often to kiss her exuberantly upon the mouth. Her head spun from the feeling as adrenaline pumped through her veins when she let herself be guided to a changing room._

_He pushed her up against the wall and started to kiss her deeply; roughly; passionately. Before she realised they were entangled and she was dying for air. He started to touch her boobs then, still pinning her to wall. She was going to say something but found that just as she was about to, he kissed her again and then she was feeling very sleepy. Was that normal when you've been making out? She'd never felt her eyelids feel so heavy._

"_I have a condom, you know?" It was only when she felt his hot breath against her ear that she realised they had stopped kissing. It then took a couple of minutes before it dawned on her, just what he had said. _

"_No... I don't want sex... I'm still a virgin..." Cece knew it wasn't a cool thing, but her head was suddenly hurting and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She wasn't ready to have sex and so..._

"_That is okay, babe, I like virgins." He then kissed her hard on the lips, using one hand to keep her where she was whilst the other one started to wander down her stomach to the zip of her jeans._

_She tried to protest and say no some more whilst attempting to squirm, but her body wasn't complying with her. _

_It hurt as he thrust into her and she felt a whimper at the back of her throat. She wanted to scream, she wanted to fight. She couldn't. His body was a heavy weight upon her and she was barely recognising it. _

_Her eyelids were dropping and the room was blurring around her. He pants and heavy breaths were slurring like her head was underwater. The lights were whizzing past her and she couldn't focus on anything. All she could feel was the shame that surrounded her being paired with her heavy heartbeat and tears that were falling down her cheeks._

_She gave up. _


	11. Foolish Heart

"_Time to scream what can't be spoken  
>You better leave before something gets broken"<em>

* * *

><p>Cece watched as Gunther held Tinka's hand and Rocky approached them to speak her apologies, just like everybody else had done so far. The rehearsal hadn't had any dancing but instead a motivational speech from Gary and a public apology for bringing Jeremy onto the show in the first place.<p>

Cece was yet to apologise... She just watched from a distance looking at Tinka. She looked distraught, and Cece couldn't blame her. Tinka was scared and it was obvious as she looked at the sombre outfits of both the brother and sister. Gunther wasn't leaving Tinka's side, and everybody on the show knew why.

Jealousy surged through Cece's body for an ounce of a second. She knew she shouldn't be jealous of the girl who stood across the room from her, but she could not help it. Tinka had the support from even those who she hated and hated her – she was protected from everything and she didn't even know it. Gunther had gotten there in time, after all.

It hurt. Everything inside Cece was hurting all of a sudden, and she tore her eyes from Tinka. Nobody knew how lucky Tinka had been – how close she really was to being truly petrified and scared. Nobody knew that Tinka hadn't really expereienced anything – not really. Nobody knew that Tinka owed her innocence to Cece – except for Gunther, and he hadn't told anybody.

She was being selfish, but a part of her wished that she hadn't warned Gunther just so she had somebody to talk to. She wanted Tinka to experience the same pain as her, so somebody could see just how badly she was drowning. She just needed somebody to know, and it was killing her inside.

* * *

><p>Her mum was on the case. Her mum was against Jeremy on the case. She should have known. The beautiful irony of the situation was just to coincidental. She hated it. She hated her mum.<p>

* * *

><p>Her mum sighed deeply whilst clearing up the dishes.<p>

"Is something wrong, mum?" Cece almost wanted to laugh at the words once they had left her mouth. It was such a funny thing to ask her perfectly fine mum what was wrong yet her mum hadn't reciprocated it once in months – when something was certainly wrong.

"I guess I'm just frustrated by the case. You know I am working with Tinka to try and get the scum-bag taken down, right?" Cece nodded. She knew. She despised the fact, almost as much as she despised the boy to whom her mother was referring. "Well, it turns out that he may get off. Obviously he'll be charged for use of drugs and the intent, but he didn't actually succeed so he won't get charged for rape. It sickens me that a guy like that will get away with it!"

Cece gulped. He would get away with it? He'd been getting away with it for months and months; her silence testified to that. "Will anything change that?"

"Only if we have somebody else to testify. If a victim of his was able to come forward, it would help cement the case..."

Her head spun as her mum said the words. If she were to testify... if she were to tell her mum about that night... if she were to say it...

It was stupid though. She had stayed silent for so many months, would her mum believe her? She'd have to, wouldn't she? She had been acting strangely since the party, everybody could see that... Once she told her mum, her mum would see how obvious it was. She'd realise everything and help Cece...

"Mum... I think I may be able to help..."

"What do you mean, Cece? I don't really have time for this?" Dragon mum was back, but Cece was going to take her last shot.

"Mum, I can help because... because... because Jeremy ra...rap-ed me too." The words were out with tears. They felt filthy in her mouth, like His hard breaths that night and his tongue and his wandering hands.

"Cece, please don't. I know what you are try-"

"No, mum! Really! It was at the party that I went to with Rocky... We were dancing and I thought he was really nice. Then we went to a changing room, and I started to fell funny before he suddenly started to undress me... I told him no! I didn't want to have sex with him mum, but I couldn't fight him... I was feeling really tired and I see now that he put something in my drink but-"

"Enough, Cece!" Her mum shouted loudly, stopping her mid-sentence. "I know you are trying to help but you lying about this won't help anybody! It will just worsen Tinka's case. I don't know why you would risk it anyway... you hate her."

Cece felt physically sick. Her mum thought she was lying; her words were just empty lies. The tears rolling down her face apparently did nothing to persuade otherwise.

"Is it her brother? Do you like her brother? Cece, that is sick! To lie about something just to get a boyfriend! Especially something that has really hurt the girl - she may never recover from this.

"Or is it to get back at me? I haven't been here enough and so you want to ruin my career? Imagine if people knew that my own daughter had been raped and I hadn't noticed! Do you hate me that much?" Her mum had come up with 'logical' reasons for Cece's 'lies'. It was enough for Cece to stand up, and walk away – hating herself more with every step towards giving up.

* * *

><p>"Gunther..."<p>

"Cece, I've been meaning to talk to you. Thank you! For warning me! Without you, Tinka would have... I don't want to say it, but thank you!"

"Gunther, I just called to say-"

"I just want you to know that I am sorry! I should never have blamed you for not liking me like that. I was just angry, it was irrational, I see that now. You really do care about me, and I'd really love for us to be friends again. I promise I won't try anything!"

"Look! I really appreciate that – I truly care for you Gunther-"

"So we'll go back to how we were?"

"We can't, Gunther... I'm sorry! Look, I just wanted to say goodbye... I love you, Gunther... Remember that and remember me?"

"What are you on-"

All was left was the hanging up beep.

* * *

><p>"<em>All my demons and all my angels<br>couldn't stick me back together again"_

* * *

><p><strong>Song - Foolish Heart – Amy Studt<strong>


	12. Shant You Notice The Signs?

Another flashback :)

_The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky._

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

_They were dancing so close. Closer than she could ever imagine dancing with somebody because it was intimate yet sexual all at once. Her head was spinning by the time he brought his lips down on hers. She had known it would be inevitable considering the proximity of their mouths and the heat of the dancing._

_After a couple more kisses, he came up for air and stared at her._

"_Wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked her, moving his mouth to her neck and kissing it._

_Cece giggled slightly, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet. "Erm... sure!"_

_He held her hand and led her off the designated dancefloor, stopping every so often to kiss her exuberantly upon the mouth. Her head spun from the feeling as adrenaline pumped through her veins when she let herself be guided to a changing room._

_He pushed her up against the wall and started to kiss her deeply; roughly; passionately. Before she realised they were entangled and she was dying for air. He started to touch her boobs then, still pinning her to wall. She was going to say something but found that just as she was about to, he kissed her again and then she was feeling very sleepy. Was that normal when you've been making out? She'd never felt her eyelids feel so heavy._

"_I have a condom, you know?" It was only when she felt his hot breath against her ear that she realised they had stopped kissing. It then took a couple of minutes before it dawned on her, just what he had said. _

"_No... I don't want sex... I'm still a virgin..." Cece knew it wasn't a cool thing, but her head was suddenly hurting and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She wasn't ready to have sex and so..._

"_That is okay, babe, I like virgins." He then kissed her hard on the lips, using one hand to keep her where she was whilst the other one started to wander down her stomach to the zip of her jeans._

_She tried to protest and say no some more whilst attempting to squirm, but her body wasn't complying with her. _

_It hurt as he thrust into her and she felt a whimper at the back of her throat. She wanted to scream, she wanted to fight. She couldn't. His body was a heavy weight upon her and she was barely recognising it. _

_Her eyelids were dropping and the room was blurring around her. He pants and heavy breaths were slurring like her head was underwater. The lights were whizzing past her and she couldn't focus on anything. All she could feel was the shame that surrounded her being paired with her heavy heartbeat and tears that were falling down her cheeks._

_She gave up. She let him push, pull, thrust without putting up a fight. _

_Her mind drifted, in and out and in and out of darkness; eyelids fluttering up and down and up and down of reality; sounding entering loudly and quietly and loudly and quietly of life._

_Her body was numb and her mind was weak by the time she felt his heavy body fall on her's, quite obviously he had finished. It was not long before he was then up and off of her, walking out the door._

_She heard it slam after him and felt her head slam along with it. Blood was pumping through her veins and arteries quickly – she could feel the pulse of her neck rapidly meeting her heart rate. Everything was aching, mind, body and soul as she drifted between the darkness and light and hurting and numbness and crying and sleep. She wanted to die, right there and then. _


	13. Scars

**Okay, this chapter was not how I originally planned, but I figured it didn't suck...**

* * *

><p>"<em>You say don't act like a child<em>

_But what if its a father I need?"_

* * *

><p>Cece paid for her ticket before walking to the very back of the bus. She pushed some earphones into either ear and pulled her hood up, drawing the strings to keep it tightly in place. Her head fell against the dirty window of the bus as she pressed play on her iPod and put the volume up to maximum. Her eyes drifted closed with the music pulsing through her head; loud, soft, melodic.<p>

She didn't have a plan so just sat there, trying not to cry as the bus pulled away from its stop in Chicago. All she knew was that she had to get to Indianapolis and on the way, pass Remington. They were each a desired destination.

She knew it seemed like she was running away from home – it was really the small backpack that contained a change of clothes and some money at her feet that made it look like that. Maybe she was running away, but her point of origin was far from what she'd call a home. That was why she was leaving, to try and find somewhere that would be a glimpse of hope.

* * *

><p>Cece found the house relatively well considering it had been five years since her last visit.<p>

The bus had taken her a little way, and since then got connectivng transport to the town of Remington and walked from the bus depot there. She had gotten lost twice, not remembering any of the street names, but it wasn't too bad. And now she was finally there.

The doorbell rang loudly, and Cece shuffled her feet underneath her, feeling nervous when she heard somebody shout that they'd be there in a minute. Maybe it was a bad idea her being there. Maybe she should head back to Chicago. Maybe she should never have come.

Just as she was ready to turn around and leave, the door flew open to show a bouncy brunette with most beautiful silver eyes she had ever seen. There was no denying that the girl before her was the girl she had come to see.

"Hayley?" Cece spoke softly, looking at the happy yet slightly confused girl who stood in the doorway. She looked different from the last time Cece had seen her because her eyes were alight, her face had more colour and she just looked healthier.

"Yes. Can I help you at all?" Hayley replied, unsure.

"You don't recognise me?" Cece asked. Hayley shook her head, and Cece felt sad for a split second.

"It... it is me... Cece." Still Hayley had no recognition of her. "Cecelia Jones. I visited you once with your cousin, Rocky..."

"Oh my GOD! Cece! You look so different! What are you doing here? Is Rocky with you? I didn't know you were both coming!" Hayley became very excited and didn't even notice Cece's face drop.

"Rocky... Rocky isn't here with me. We didn't both come, just me."

"What? Why?" Hayley's earlier look of confusion returned whilst Cece's stomach fluttered.

"Look, me and Rocky are going through some friend issues at the moment so...  
>"That isn't important right now. I'm not staying, anyway. I just came to say sorry. I know it is 5 years overdue but I have only just recently realised that I needed to apologise..." Cece stumbled slightly but kept going.<p>

"What are you on ab-"

"When I first met you, you were broken. You were hurting because your dad... you dad hit you, and you didn't really know why at all. I remember you telling me and Rocky that you didn't tell anybody at first. You said it took you three years to tell your mum.

"At the time, I thought you were crazy! I thought you were weak and stupid for not telling anybody. I didn't understand how you could stay silent about something like that. I just couldn't see why or how you would do that. I get it now though.

"I want to say sorry for judging you. I didn't know your situation or what it felt like. I didn't realise how strong you were to be able to suffer for three years and then come out the other side. I didn't know what it was like to have to feel that way – persecuted by somebody you trusted. I didn't understand what it was like to hurt like that. So I am so sorry!" Cece finished, not realising she had let a couple of tears escape during her speech until a salty drop touched her lip.

Hayley looked very confused and kind of distraught. "Did you come all the way just to say sorry? Why? I don't need to be reminded of that. I hate myself for staying silent for so long! I don't need you pity now, either. I've put it behind me and moved on!"

"Look, I didn't mean to make you fe-"

"You know what, just leave! I'm sorry, but I can't talk about that any more, and I don't want to talk to you any more." Hayley turned, and closed the door on a spluttering Cece.

* * *

><p>Cece heard him before she saw him. Her heart soared as the husky voice sounded, reminding of her childhood. He opened the door, and she couldn't help the content sigh that escaped her lips whilst a smile started to form on her lips.<p>

"Can I help you?" The man with dark brown hair, the same colour as Flynn's, and the same hazel eyes as her opened the door.

"Dad?" Cece choked out. A look of recognition found its way to the man's eyes. Her father's eyes.

"Cecelia? Is that you? Oh my god! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, Dad!"

"Does your mother know you are here? She didn't want us to have contact and I want to respect her wishes." He told Cece. Her heart dropped slightly.

"Mum knows I'm here. I just needed to see you!" Cece told him, lying through her teeth. She just wanted to be with him so badly and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Look, Cece, you know I love seeing you here but I don't think it is a good idea. You should've rang or-" He was cut off by a child of about four approaching him, and calling his name of 'daddy'.

"You have a daughter?" Cece spat out. She had her father's dark hair and eyes but her other features were not as distinguishable.

"Robin, princess, this is Cecelia." Her father told the child as he picked her up.

"you used to call me princess..." Cece murmered slightly too loudly so that both family members in front of her could hear her.

"Who are she, daddy?" The girl in his arms asked.

"She is just somebody I know, sweetheart." Phillip replied softly to the girl he looked at so dearly.

"you were right. It was a mistake me being here! I'll go!" Cece turned away, fighting tears from her eyes.

"Cece, don't leave. I didn't..."

"I'll tell Flynn you say hi, yeah?" Cece choked on the words that were mixing with soft sobs, her back still turned to the man that helped create her.

"Tell him that. I miss him, you know. Is he okay? What does he look like? Does he suffer from dyslexia too?" He asked, suddenly extremely curious and Cece just felt the tears fall harder.

Cece looked at him one last time, her eyes blurry, her throat burning with the size of the lump in the back of as her cheeks burned hot from the water leaking from her eyes.

She then ran. She ran as hard as she could. Once back on a coach to the place she had originally ran from, she didn't stop crying all the way home.

* * *

><p>"<em>I've got flaws, I've got faults<em>

_So keep searching for your perfect heart"_

* * *

><p><strong>Song - Scars - Allison Ireheta<strong>


	14. Please Notice The Signs!

_The party was in full swing and the music was pulsing. Cece was in my element with all the dancing she had done; people loved it. From the way she was moving, she could tell that Shake It Up! really did throw all the best parties . The only thing that would've made it better for her was if she'd had a date... like Rocky._

_Eventually, she realised she needed a drink. Walking to the beverage table, she noticed him – the new dancer. She was aware that she was 2 years older than her at 17, but he had such an allure and way that she was attracted to him. Her mum would never allow it of course._

_"Were you after a drink? Want this one?" He asked Cece as she approached._

_"Oh, thanks." Cece said taking the cup from the handsome boy._

_"you're a great dancer, you know!" He told her, smiling. "I was watching you out there, it was really good."_

_"Really, you think so?" Cece grinned. "It is the only thing I've ever really been good at. You are really good too, you know?"_

_"I know." They both laughed._

_As the laughter died away, an awkward silence took over. Cece listened to the music and sipped her drink. It was blueberry but she thought it tasted ever so slightly off._

_"Want to dance?" Interrupted the silence towards Cece. She nodded and let her be guided to the dancefloor by her hand._

_They were dancing so close. Closer than she could ever imagine dancing with somebody because it was intimate yet sexual all at once. Her head was spinning by the time he brought his lips down on hers. She had known it would be inevitable considering the proximity of their mouths and the heat of the dancing._

_After a couple more kisses, he came up for air and stared at her._

"_Wanna go somewhere quieter?" He asked her, moving his mouth to her neck and kissing it._

_Cece giggled slightly, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet. "Erm... sure!"_

_He held her hand and led her off the designated dancefloor, stopping every so often to kiss her exuberantly upon the mouth. Her head spun from the feeling as adrenaline pumped through her veins when she let herself be guided to a changing room._

_He pushed her up against the wall and started to kiss her deeply; roughly; passionately. Before she realised they were entangled and she was dying for air. He started to touch her boobs then, still pinning her to wall. She was going to say something but found that just as she was about to, he kissed her again and then she was feeling very sleepy. Was that normal when you've been making out? She'd never felt her eyelids feel so heavy._

"_I have a condom, you know?" It was only when she felt his hot breath against her ear that she realised they had stopped kissing. It then took a couple of minutes before it dawned on her, just what he had said. _

"_No... I don't want sex... I'm still a virgin..." Cece knew it wasn't a cool thing, but her head was suddenly hurting and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She wasn't ready to have sex and so..._

"_That is okay, babe, I like virgins." He then kissed her hard on the lips, using one hand to keep her where she was whilst the other one started to wander down her stomach to the zip of her jeans._

_She tried to protest and say no some more whilst attempting to squirm, but her body wasn't complying with her. _

_It hurt as he thrust into her and she felt a whimper at the back of her throat. She wanted to scream, she wanted to fight. She couldn't. His body was a heavy weight upon her and she was barely recognising it. _

_Her eyelids were dropping and the room was blurring around her. He pants and heavy breaths were slurring like her head was underwater. The lights were whizzing past her and she couldn't focus on anything. All she could feel was the shame that surrounded her being paired with her heavy heartbeat and tears that were falling down her cheeks._

_She gave up. She let him push, pull, thrust without putting up a fight. _

_Her mind drifted, in and out and in and out of darkness; eyelids fluttering up and down and up and down of reality; sounding entering loudly and quietly and loudly and quietly of life._

_Her body was numb and her mind was weak by the time she felt his heavy body fall on her's, quite obviously he had finished. It was not long before he was then up and off of her, walking out the door._

_She heard it slam after him and felt her head slam along with it. Blood was pumping through her veins and arteries quickly – she could feel the pulse of her neck rapidly meeting her heart rate. Everything was aching, mind, body and soul as she drifted between the darkness and light and hurting and numbness and crying and sleep. She wanted to die, right there and then. _

_Slowly she lifted her head and the world was a little less blurry than before. Her limbs hurt and throbbed as she pushed her arms underneath her. It took all her strength to push upwards, and her body screamed at the upheaval. Her legs felt weak underneath her when she finally stood up, and she felt pain wash over her._

_She choked slightly before wiping her cheeks, feeling the crust of dried tears etched there. Her hair felt messy and tangled and she tried to flatten it out slightly. She wanted it to lie how it had before. She wanted to be like she was before. She wanted it to be before. Somehow she knew it wasn't happening as her hair barely moved at all._

_Finally giving up, she moved towards the door, trying to not cry in the way the movement felt sore._


End file.
